Episode 22

Hope: Finding a Path to Love

Published on: 28th September, 2023

In this episode, Hope talks about her strange relationship to her body, asexuality, being single, and her struggle with illness.

Content Warnings for mentioning war and homophobia.

This episode was originally recorded on August 1, 2023.

The next episode will be released October 11, 2023.

References:

"Be humble, for you are made of earth. Be noble, for you are made of stars." - possibly a Serbian Proverb, but origin is unknown

Brothers Karamazov, book by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Mysterium: cooperation board game found here https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/181304/mysterium

“Never tell a child: you have a soul. Teach him, you are a soul; you have a body." - Quote often misattributed to C.S. Lewis, but in fact said by George Macdonald to people he viewed as mourning too much at funerals. Found in The British Friend, Volume 1, a collection of monthly Quaker journals

"The Aunties" short story from Traveling Mercies, book by Anne Lamott

"The Time I have Alone," poem by Hope:

something sharp sits within me;

a longing without direction,

a dream I crafted without meaning to.

the love I picture is so beautiful:

perfect in its blur, a lovely and uncertain shape.

I believe in it whenever it seems

not wholly impossible

keep it small:

a hand that holds mine,

somewhere for my loyalty to land.

.

I know I'm not the only one

whose potential for romance is still a seed

It's not heartbreak, but

our hearts continue to ask without receiving

as we grow, we find we are not promised

a particular happiness just because

we can imagine so vividly its sweetness

.

I pick up the lonesomeness

and put it down again

there's still life to be lived (not said in the interview)

Definitions/Acronyms:

CRC: Christian Reformed Church, a Calvinist Christian community

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode
Show artwork for Keep the Mess

About the Podcast

Keep the Mess
Messy Conversations with Messy People
Conversations about dissociation and embodiment; how our experiences and identities shape our relationship with our bodies. Each episode shows how messy and beautiful it is to be human as we attempt to connect with ourselves and each other.

Episodes release every other Thursday.

About your host

Profile picture for Eden Alexander M

Eden Alexander M

a Christian, a missionary kid, a queer transman, a creator, a student and survivor of mental illness, an addict in recovery; someone who chafes at the constraints of such boxes and labels